Article By: Iyo_Embong

Indeed, in these tough economic times it can be truly difficult and painful for many of us. And while our economy appears to be healthy in some areas; contrasting with the turbulent emotions beneath our surface, especially for those feeling deprived or those dealing with loss. And while most of us make an attempt to put on a happy face, we often feel exhausted in the end, clearly a symptom of something amiss. Indeed, beyond the physical affects, we succumb to feelings of inadequacy and doubt, isolation and loneliness. If we think of it, it is rather peculiar that it is so common to hear people express their distaste for this period altogether. Still, I believe, that despite all of this, and despite all that we struggle with, there is a way to connect to the peace that is spoken of. Once again, the first place to look is in the mirror.

With everything we’re faced with, self-reflection becomes a daunting task that can seem impossible on its own. Instead, we find ourselves on the defence, warding off jabs and projecting our own insecurities onto our loved ones, further harming ourselves and placing strain on our most valuable relationships. Instead, we need to find meaning in whatever the struggle is, cultivate our own strengths from within and cast the positive result onto others. Remember that although there isn’t a prescription for happiness, it surely is contagious. Interestingly, though the focus here may be on others, the true beneficiary might actually be you. Indeed, the practice of love and devotion to others, in its highest form, is actually the greatest act of self-care.

Self-reflection is one of the most important and skilful tactics for modifying behaviour. As we take in knowledge about our external world and those around us, we have the ability to process it, and in turn choose how to acknowledge it and move forward. In difficult situations, it is a sign of greater skill to choose a better way and find the positive.

No one could argue that crises offer us golden moments for growth and development, and finding the opportunities they present is a skill worth developing. Thus, finding the ‘happy’ and the ‘merry’ during a time typically filled with stress and anxiety is a challenge worth taking on, and bringing light to a difficult situation is a gift in its own. Of course, this will require that you overcome any feelings of victimization and self-doubt, even loss; but be reminded that you in fact create your own reality and can transcend life’s impediments. Once you own this, you’ll find that you have even greater capacity to give.

All of us have a choice to complain or to accept. Indeed, I believe the former reflects our stubbornness and/or our failure to recognize that we have more choices than we are willing to admit or to consider. The most basic choice is whether or not to accept what comes your way.

Frequently, complaining is an expression of frustration with life’s obstacles. We complain about our bosses, friends and relatives. We complain about finances. Or, we become exasperated with the status quo. “Life is not fair” is something we hear often.

Complaints often result when we fail to recognize that we have more choices than we are willing or able to consider. Perhaps the biggest obstacle in our path is our tendency to feel victimized or deficient in some way. And we put so much energy into maintaining the victim/deficient mindset that we lose sight of the alternatives, which are often staring us right in the face. It’s like looking only at the mud and failing to see the beautiful lotus growing out of it.

Every day, we see examples of people who are impoverished in some manner but who seem content and whose lives are filled with beauty; whereas, others wallow in their condition and are more affected by their circumstances. If it is true that we create our own reality, we can avoid or transcend life’s impediments. Sadly, we do not always do this. Our shared empathy for society’s downtrodden frequently morphs into pity, blinding us to the wisdom and power of contentment.

The key is first to do some self-reflection; to look in the mirror, accept your situation and search for opportunities to be yourself more completely. Make the effort. Do not assume you are handcuffed because there are numerous barriers in your way. Follow the example of others who have also been in challenging situations, yet who managed to find balance, happiness and peace. Crises offer us golden moments for growth and development. Sometimes they are the mud that brings sustenance to a beautiful flower. Sometimes the bad habit of looking at the negative or ugly things in life becomes to ingrained that we forget to look at the beauty.

Article By: Iyo_Embong