Dedicated to my Good Friend “Pare Tonio D.”

By: iyo_embong

Aside from loved ones,  aside from those close of kin,  friendship makes life most meaningful.  With friendship nothing is impersonal.  Everything is more enjoyed.  Everything has greater purpose.  Everything is better understood.  It is something to be nourished and cherished;  something that cannot be forced;  something that must grow naturally;  something that must not be abused.

Friendship can only exist between good men.  I mean … by the ’good’ “those whose actions and lives leave no questions as to their honour,  purity,  equity and liberality; who are free from greed,  lust and violence; and who have the courage of their convictions.”

Often the question arises as to what one should do,  or should not do,  for a friend.  Should one violate a law or a moral code of conduct in the name of friendship?  Should one falsify or commit an illegal or unworthy act for a friend?

The answer of course is that the plea of having acted in the interests of a friend in not a valid excuse for a wrong action.  For (since) a belief in a man’s virtue is the original cause of friendship,  friendship can hardly remain if virtue be abandoned …. Stability in friendship … can be secured … when … men who are united by affection learn,  first of all,  to rule those passions which enslave others,  and … to take delight in fair and equitable conduct,  to bear each other’s burdens,  (and) never to ask each other anything inconsistent with virtue and rectitude,  and not only to serve and love but also to respect each other.  I say ’respect’;  for if respect is gone,  friendship has lost it’s brightest jewel …. In fact,  if virtue be neglected,  those who imagine themselves to possess friends will find out their error as some grave disaster forces them to make trial on them … (For,) nature has given us friendship as the handmaid of virtue,  not as a partner of guilt ….

Let this then,  be laid down as the first law of  friendship,  that we should ask from friends,  and do for friends,  only what is good … (and) neither ask nor consent to do what is wrong …. Without friendship (there is no fullness of) life,… for if we lose affection and kindness from our life, we lose all that gives it charm.”

By: iyo_embong