“I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22)

A friend of mine was telling me once about this interesting system they use to do for capturing monkeys in their province of Leyte, Philippines. Because they don’t want to kill them as they feel that it is cruel, their goal was to take the monkeys alive so they can also sell it as a pet or release it back into the jungle. In an extremely humane way, they use large coconut, with a small hole, into which they deposit a handful of food, which the monkeys like. The coconuts are placed on the jungle floor or in the middle of the rice field where monkeys likes to hang around.  They will return the next morning to find a monkey trapped couldn’t move or go too far because of the weight of the coconut.

How is it accomplished? The monkey, attracted by the scent of the bait and coconut, comes to investigate, put his hand through the hole, and is trapped.  The monkey can’t take its hand out as long it’s holding the bait inside the coconut, but it is ‘UNWILLING’ to open its hand and ‘LET THEM GO’. The coconut is too heavy to carry away, so the monkey is trapped.

We may “SMILE” at the ‘foolish monkeys’, but how often ‘WE’ hold to our problems so tenaciously as the monkeys hold to the bait inside the coconut.  And so, figuratively we carry our array of coconuts around with us most of the time, feeling very sorry for ourselves, hearts heavy loaded with unforgiveness, and begging for sympathy from others!

UNFORGIVENESS is the single most popular poison a person can take spiritually. It causes everything from mental depression and many types of health problems. I’m not saying that in every single case of sickness, it is due to unforgiveness, but I am saying that it can be a cause.

What does it mean to forgive? The answer is widely assumed to be self-evident but critical analysis quickly reveals the complexities of the subject. Forgiveness is a much more complicated subject than many people admits and recognize.  Defining forgiveness is done with words and actions. The word “forgive” is a grace word in the English, as well as the Greek, meaning “to give or to grant.” The meaning is “to remit a debt, to give up resentment or claim for requital, or to pardon an offense.”

All of us have things that happen to us in life, which create pain, anger and grief. In most cases, they come unexpectedly and are rarely deserved. How do we handle it to help us cope with such trauma? It’s important to understand that if we don’t plow through what has happened to us, the seeds of bitterness will eventually sprout and begin to choke out the joy. In fact, a bitter root will always grow up and cause trouble.

On thing I do know is that forgiveness is a continuing process. You just don’t forgive and move on. That sore spot will continue to show up again and again. And in such situations, we must remember to forgive again, and again. We, forgive, we mortify our resentment; a week later some chain of thought carries us back to the original offence and we discover the old resentment blazing away if nothing had been done about it at all. Forgiveness is not only a struggle, but it’s a very important struggle.

There are several moments in my life where my mind wanders so much, that it digs up old feelings I thought were long gone. In a matter of seconds my thoughts turn extremely negative, and I begin to feel as if I had not forgiven at all. Jesus knows how difficult it is for us to forgive each other. Having the chance and opportunity to forgive repeatedly strengthens me. Not right away, but the more I forgive, and the more I love, the more equipped I become for the next huge catastrophe that is coming my way.

I also think it’s hard to hate one person but love another. It’s hard to treat anybody right when our heart isn’t right. A grudge, a root of bitterness, or even hate, it may be, may be blocking your growth.

I have been through many back to back problems and pains even from people who are close to me and I dearly love who have done the wrong things and that were unfair, I can tell you that I would be a total wreck right now if I never forgave.