Article By: Iyo_Embong

“A lonely day is God’s way of saying that he wants to spend some quality time with you.” ― Criss Jami

It is always good to see the “big picture” as we go on in life. Let us remember: Life is a journey with a beginning and with an end; life is short; life is a mission; we are not alone in our journey; we have companions. How good it is to have real friends and love ones when we experience delays or trials in life. What a difference they and our faith make in our lives!

A story was told about a proud student who was asked by the teacher: “Do you know the answer to the equation 5 + 5?” The student replied: “What an easy question—10!” Whereupon the teacher said: “The correct answer to my question is a simple ‘yes.’” Also in life we need not know all the exact answers. Sometimes there are even problems to which we have no solutions. Indeed, many times all we need is a simple “yes” to life.

Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. I mean sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention. For some people, quality time is their primary love language, and if you don’t give them quality time, they will not feel loved.

Quality time is a powerful emotional communicator of love. One medicine does not cure all diseases. Just as one love language does not communicate emotionally to all people. If you give your partner affirming words; if you express love by acts of service; if you touch them affectionately; and they still complain, “You don’t ever have time for me. We used to do things together. Now you are always too busy or too tired,” they are telling you something.

A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. Togetherness has to do with focused attention. A husband who is watching footy on television while he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time, because she does not have his full attention. A husband and wife playing tennis together, if it is genuine quality time, will focus not on the game, but on the fact that they are spending time together.

Like words of affirmation, the language of quality time also has many dialects. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two people are sharing their experiences, their thoughts, their feelings, and their desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.

There are people who continuously and ardently communicate with me about the end of the world. Beyond global warming, they passionately and religiously tell me about the great “warning” that are unfolding before us right now. While I appreciate and do not belittle their sense of urgency on this matter, I simply say, what can we do, mortals as we are? Rather than be gripped with fear, I’d rather focus on what we can and should do in the here and now.

Instead of focusing on fear which could paralyse and even overwhelm us, our focus should be on trust and hope.  Life is short, death is certain. No matter what we do, we cannot prevent our aging and dying, not to mention the unpredictability and suddenness of death. In view of these, we can go Epicurean and say, “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.”

Instead of focusing on what could or what might happen, why not just be grateful and trusting? Instead of constantly calculating or counting, why not indeed concentrate on living and loving, one day at a time? Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself! If time is short, then let’s go for quality time!

Article By: Iyo_Embong