“You must shatter the vase to spread its perfume, and smite the rock to get the spark!” (El Filibusterismo) Dr. Jose P. Rizal

“Better to hurt me with the truth rather than comfort me with your lies.” Truth can hit us hard. The truth hurts, but it is better to experience closure with pain rather than a never-ending agony, or a guessing game.

Breaking bad news to a person is never easy to do. But the truth has to be said, and someone has to do it. How far easier to be quiet, or not to get involved! Or perhaps postpone it some other day. But there is one rule we should never forget: Face the light, and the shadow is behind you; turn your back to the light, and the shadow will always be in front of you.

Confronted with the truth, some accept it and grow with it. But some refuse it, deny it or fight it. The end-result of the former is peace, while that of the latter is agony and misery.  Confronted with the truth, we can choose to accept it and be free, or deny it and prolong the agony.

When gentle persuasion does not work, then it is time for more drastic and more radical measures. In other words, we don’t give Aspirin to someone who has cancer.  It is time for us not just to talk about issues, but to really get organized and address issues concretely. When snakes are at our doorsteps, and in our very homes, we must do something to protect ourselves.

Someone once said that there are two kinds of people who don’t say much – those who are quiet… and those who talk a lot.

There are of course guidelines on when to keep quiet and when to talk, particularly in line with fraternal correction. We cannot be quiet and play safe, nor can we be too vocal to the point of becoming tactless and offensive. But more than the technique, what should be emphasized is that all corrections are done out of concern and love.

But through our lives we are conditioned into an EGOIST state of mind where we view ourselves as somehow separate from the rest of the world but at the same time the CENTER of it. It is an illusionary state in which we identify with a set of concepts, feelings, opinions, and judgments about past experiences. Then wrap it all into a big ball convince ourselves that our big ball of “nothingness” is a rock solid substantial thing, it is our own little shadow “reality” in which we root our identity, and we name it “ME”.

Then we protect our shadow reality “ME” from the other seven billion shadow reality “ME’s” that has been imagined up. Our “ME” becomes our eyes and ears and it begins to think and react based on the rules of its own little reality. We feed our “ME” more ideas, concepts, opinions and judgments to make them seem even more “substantially” separate. “ME” can only perceive existence from a you vs. me, outside vs. inside, up vs. down, good vs. evil, white vs. black, good vs. bad, allies vs. enemies, boys vs. girls, rich vs. poor, heaven vs. hell… and therefore it lives in constant fear of opposing forces, yet at the same time it counts on opposing forces to bring it happiness.

To attain happiness it depends on external concepts such as wealth, friends, family… and when these things disappoint it reacts with suspicion, anger, violence and hatred. We know deep down that this is not reality so we are unsatisfied with our “me”, we long for true happiness. What the “me” doesn’t realize is that happiness or “heaven” is laid out right before our eyes and that every moment is perfection we just have to stop trying to see it through the conceptual, opinionated, judgmental, egocentric, eyes of EGO.

It is time for us to go beyond our comfort zones and beyond. All of us are called to life, to love, and to goodness. Unless and until we see life as a mission for something or someone greater than ourselves, we will end up empty, vain, cynical, proud, angry, selfish individuals full of “ME”. Yes, we must learn to really listen to others, and to life itself. If we listen only to ourselves, that would lead us to the road of denial and delusion.