By: Iyo_Embong

Most people tend to judge a person on how bad they are – on the negative aspects of their character and not on the positive. We don’t focus on their “clean”, we focus on their “dirt”.

A newspaper publisher which only prints good news does not stay in business long. Let’s face it, we thrive on the dirt in other people’s lives, the problems that people expose in reality TV talk shows and the horror photographs of car accidents and etc. For every “feel good” story on the news there are a dozen presented to shock or enthral – but all are designed to extract from us an emotional reaction. The currency of news is “reaction”. No reaction equals no news. We eagerly read the juiciest tit bits of news; we listen to all the celebrity gossip.

The recent passing of Whitney Houston is a real tragedy, like so many others that we’ve lost before her, is that it seems like this loss could have been prevented. It’s really so sad to think about the talent wasted. It’s even sadder to think about how much more she could have given. It’s always amazing to see how people focus on the negative of others.  If we were to sweep around a balcony or two of yours, my question is what would we discover about you? We all have a past and we’re all an “EX” something. There is so much we don’t know on what others are going through in their lives – sadly most of us are afraid to know or don’t want to know!

We get an emotional high from feeding on other people’s misery – the lower they are emotionally, the higher we feel. We often obtain our feeling of self worth from feeding on the misery and trauma in other people’s lives.

But the biggest potentially dangerous reports are those that encourage us to make a judgement, a judgement which is based entirely on the story presentation. We are given no balance, just a one-sided viewpoint which, through lack of balanced information, we are forced to accept. The biggest problem with judging other people is that we never have all the information. We make snap judgments on what someone has done, not on why they did it. We focus on the effect and ignore the cause.

Jesus was not spared from criticism and judgment. We too have our share of people, who have made it their personal calling to find fault and comment on everything we say, write or do. We take some consolation in the thought that in any game, it is the spectators who make a lot of noise while the players just play on!

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees who wanted to entrap Him in speech. The Pharisees were learned in matters of the law but, they were “not only nasty, but also malicious people.” They were hypocrites and were so full of pride and deceit. Yes, they were good, but they were good with just words. They were good, for nothing!

Loud, proud, self-righteous, selfish, arrogant and aggressive people are difficult to deal with. The “Desiderata” cautioned us about such people, and described them as a “vexation to the spirit.” It is sad that some people go through life with an “axe to grind,” or with something to prove, or with an image to build or protect. Wouldn’t it be better if they just dropped their personal agenda, and used their talents, energy and resources and words to promote a cause, to help humanity? Are you a self-proclaimed intellectual or analyst who always has a mouthful to say? Be careful. You may end up eating your own words. Intelligence must be tempered with wisdom, and knowledge with humility.

Problems arise when a person thinks he or she is not answerable to anything or anyone in this world. Pragmatism can make us very myopic and can make us lose sight of the “big picture,” that which more than meets the eye.

We all meet all sorts of people in our life’s journey. Some of them inspire, while many of them hurt and challenge us. What is important is that we do not lose our focus on our vision. We take note of the lowly turtle that makes progress in its journey only by sticking out its neck.

Remember, the easy road or the path of least resistance may lead us to places, but in reality leads us nowhere. The sooner we learn to let go of power, control and our judgement, the better. The sooner we can focus on service and love.

Too often we assume that our loved ones know or understand how we feel. Sometimes we forget or don’t want to tell our loved one’s what they mean to us or just how much we love them. There are times when we take our love and theirs for granted. Many of us are too busy, too independent or too self-centered and think that we still have time to love when ready. The reality is that no one is promised tomorrow…

“The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.  Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time.  For the clock may soon be still.” – Easy Eddie (Al Capone’s Lawyer)

By: Iyo_Embong 2012©Copyright. Any distribution, reproduction or copying of any part of this article is forbidden. If you wish to use this article please only use the first 2-3 lines as an excerpt and link back directly to the article along with the Authors name.