When a man is at war with himself, he unknowingly wages that battle on the woman who tries to love him. His unhappiness seeps into the spaces where love should grow, and instead of nurturing connection, he sabotages it. Not because she is unworthy but because he cannot see past his pain.

So, dear man, understand this—love is not a remedy for your wounds. A woman’s devotion cannot mend the fractures you refuse to acknowledge. Her tenderness is not a bandage, nor is it her responsibility to heal the hurt you carry.

If you harbour unresolved anger, self-doubt, or deep-seated insecurities, you will turn her love into a battlefield where she fights endlessly for a love you have not yet learned to give.

She will remind you of your worth, but her words will feel empty if you do not believe in it. You will push her away, not because she lacks value, but because you fear that you do. And when a man sees himself as unworthy of love, he unconsciously destroys any love that dares to reach for him.

You may criticize, diminish, or make her feel like she is never enough—not because she isn’t, but because you feel like you aren’t.

A woman in love will do everything to bring light into your darkness, but if you refuse to release the shadows, you will dim her light, too.

This is why healing is essential.

You cannot pour love from an empty cup or build something beautiful on a foundation of self-hatred. If you do not confront your pain, you will only pass it on to the person who stands closest to you. And no matter how much she loves you, even the strongest woman cannot save a man who refuses to save himself.

So, take responsibility for your healing.

Your past may not be your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. Do not ask a woman to carry the weight of your burdens with her own. Do not allow her to bleed for wounds she did not inflict. Love is meant to be a sanctuary, not a source of suffering.

If you are broken, acknowledge it.

If you are lost, find your way.

If you are hurting, seek healing.

Not just for her, but for you. Because a man who has done the inner work will love more fully and finally believe he is worthy of the love he receives.

So, dear man, heal before you love.

Not because she demands it, but because you deserve to experience love without fear, sabotage, or self-destruction.

Love yourself enough to become the man who can love her the way she deserves.