By: Iyo Embong

For a long long time, I often wonder if people fully understand the ‘TRUE’ meaning of ‘LOVE’ not only in the secular world but sadly also in Christian community. After our fellowship last night it confirmed to me that not many do. It is sad especially when it is from the people who ‘POSED’ to be a servant of God. Many wonder why churches are not growing or people leaving their churches – the answer is right there staring at their faces! A church without love is just an empty warehouse – we might as well go to the pub. It is a shame not only to the people but also to GOD! Many seems to be too busy counting their money instead of counting souls which should be our main goal according what GOD said in His word – or are we also having problem understanding English language now?

LOVING A HUMAN BEING… is accepting the opportunity of truly getting to know them, and enjoying the adventure of exploring and discovering what lies beyond their ‘MASKS’ and defences. It is contemplating with tenderness their deepest feelings, fears and insecurities, their dreams and joys, sorrows and aspirations. It is being able to understand that behind their shields and masks, a sensitive and lonely heart is hidden, starving for a friendly hand and a sincere smile where they can feel at home… It is discovering and honouring their true identity beyond all superficial appearances, and to honestly appreciate their infinite greatness as a unique expression of Life itself.

LOVING A HUMAN BEING… is giving them the opportunity of being listened to with deep attention, interest and respect; accepting their experience not trying to MODIFY it but to UNDERSTAND it. It is offering them a SPACE where they can DISCOVER themselves without the fear of feeling questioned, a space where they can feel comfortable sharing their feelings without being forced to reveal the things they consider private…It is appreciating them without conditions, neither ‘judging’ nor ‘evaluating’ nor ‘disapproving’ of them, and without asking them to adjust themselves to fit your ideals…. It is appreciating them for what they are and not for what you would like them to be.

LOVING A HUMAN BEING… is daring to show yourself defenceless, revealing your INNER TRUTH – NAKED, HONEST and TRANSPARENT. It is uncovering your own feelings and vulnerabilities. It is allowing them to get to know the person you really are, without making up an image designed to cause a favourable impression. It is exposing your desires and needs, without expecting them to be responsible for fulfilling them. It is expressing your thoughts and ideas without intending to convince them that they are correct. It is enjoying the privilege of being yourself without asking for approval, thus discovering new and different aspects of your personality. It is being TRUTHFUL and, without fear or shame, being able to say: “This is who I am, at this point of my life, and I gladly and freely share it with you… if you wish to receive it.”

LOVING A HUMAN BEING… is BELIEVING in them when they doubt themselves, spreading your vitality and enthusiasm when they are about to give up, supporting them in moments of weakness, ENCOURAGING them when they feel insecure, holding their hand firmly and guiding them when they feel lost, caressing them with tenderness when they feel a burden………

LOVING A HUMAN BEING… is being HUMBLE enough to receive their tenderness and affection without pretending not to need anything. It is joyfully accepting what they offer you, without DEMANDING what they can’t or don’t want to give you. It is feeling GRATITUDE towards Life for the wonder of their existence, and feeling their presence as a TRUE BLESSING in your path………

“THE SECOND TEN COMMANDMENTS”

1. Thou shalt understand that love is genuine caring, compassion, and respect.
2. Thou shalt express love in the here and now, always, without reservation.
3. Thou shalt love thy self, without egotism.
4. Thou shalt accept equality, for thou art not more and not any less important than all other forms of life.
5. Thou shalt accept full responsibility for personal thoughts and actions, understanding the effects on others as well as thyself.
6. Thou shalt love others, making extra effort to love those not liked by thee.
7. Thou shalt accept others for who they are without judging or forcing change upon them
8. Thou shalt seek what is best for others when helping them, and graciously accept help from them when it is offered.
9. Thou shalt treat each and every expression of life with dignity and respect.
10. Thou shalt understand that above all else, thy life mission is to grow spiritually, which is a continual process.

By: Iyo Embong