By: Iyo_Embong

COMMITMENT is not a light switch that goes from “off” to “on.” When building a relationship with someone, the level of commitment gradually increases. Commitment in a relationship is complicated in that it takes two people, and it requires an alignment of FACT (events, actions) and ATTITUDE (thoughts, beliefs) for both of them.

Commitment is the foundation of all true loving. Long after the lust and romance has died, long after the idealism and the feelings have faded, long after summer is gone, love survives because of commitment. Maybe you are not so much “in love” now, but are you still committed? Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength. Commitment in the face of conflict produces character.

I once saw an elderly couple holding hands as they walked slowly. Not wanting to let the occasion pass, I went up to them and told them how inspired and edified I was to see them being so sweet and tender to each other after all the years.“Well, not really. You see, at our age, if I don’t hold her hands, she’ll fall down,” was the old man’s reply.

Sadly in many cases in our life especially in relationship, there is no such thing as a continuous summer. There are rainy and gloomy days, too. Then again, life should not be so much a matter of feeling good and feeling nice about us. As we find our limitations and experience failures in our loving, we have to be humble enough to accept our shortcomings, but brave and committed enough to continue loving and to keep on trying. The decision to love is a decision to stop hurting the beloved and a decision to continue loving in spite of the hurts. Big words but not impossible, hard but bearable, and eventually it will pay off and bear fruit.

As a little boy how I wished that summer would never end. Oh, the joys of summer! No classes, lots of time to play kites, more time to work with my father making furniture to earn some pocket money, hang around with friends, late nights. But, summer’s not forever, so what do you do when summer is gone? You go on. And when love is gone? You also try to go on.

At times, it may seem like the feelings are no longer there, but we should remain in love. Warts, bruises, dirt, scars and all, we are to remain in love, and there we must stay whether we are inspired or tired.

A woman was asked why her marriage broke up; a woman came up with two reasons:

1. She did not marry the best man.
2. She married her husband for better or for worse but not for good!

If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life? Without commitment, love doesn’t have much chance to grow, much less survive. Without commitment, you can never achieve your goal and desires. Without commitment, it is so easy to grow tired, to give up, to hold back and even to take back. How far easier it is to give up and destroy rather than hold on and build up.

Sadly many potentially good relationships have come to an end due to our pride and foolishness. We often think that we can win this game by controlling and manipulating others. CONTROL is a dirty game – especially if accompanied by lies, manipulations, deceit and in worst scenario by crime and violence. There is no disguise which can hide love where it exists, or simulate it where it does not. “Even a dog can distinguish between being stumbled over and being kicked.”Again, the bottom line is: Is it all worth it?

• Don’t you sometimes wish that the biblical promise of the good being rewarded and the wicked being thrown into the fiery furnace were happening now?
• Don’t you feel at times that divine justice, though certain, is awfully slow?
• Don’t you feel your guts turn within when you hear people who just blurt out lies and manipulate other people’s minds?

All this holding on to whatever or to whoever, is it really all worth it? When all other pleasures are not worth its pains. Should a relationship really become unbearable (i.e., unable to bear fruits anymore), I suppose people will have to make their decision. Whatever decision they make will naturally involve much pain. There are no fast and easy solutions. If, at the end of your life you can say, “I really gave it my very best,” then you can be at peace. Before you make any big decisions in your life, make doubly sure that you have really given it your very best shot.

We must believe and keep on believing that there is a perfect timing for everything we wish or dream for. We must continue doing good even if people around us have turned their backs on us again. Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.

By: Iyo_Embong 2012©Copyright. Any distribution, reproduction or copying of any part of this article is forbidden. If you wish to use this article please only use the first 2-3 lines as an excerpt and link back directly to the article along with the Authors name.